life

....really wan knw hw i feel bout my new college life??
right..
is boring...tired..n hard...
mayb u can say is fun...coz is different from chghwa...
bt i m tired..
lonely..
i nv ask n hope all my best fren 2 understand hw is my life...
tat's y i didnt ask n find u all..
becoz i knw every1 hav their own life...hard or anythg..
we r facing different kind of thgs...
hw can i tell u all??hw can u all understand??
all i wish is some time...
i need time...
when i totally feel tat i can suit in it...i will find u all...
in college...i m nt sure hw gud isit ...
all i knw is....untill nw i cant find any real or true fren...
well we r frens...
talking bout stuff....if i say i dun hav frens is a lie...
coz if i dun hav any...i more cham....
living in a new world 2 urself without frens...
is hardly 2 survive...
bt they dun knw my thgs...
i dun knw them...
everyday need 2 find out some...
of their thgs...
so we can hav topics...
bt i m pretty sure...when come 2 u need some1 to talk 2...
is hard...
they dun knw anythg...
i hate 2 start over again n again like a story teller...
sometimes...better dun say...
so i keep my own story 2 myself...
i didnt take pic...didnt hav any self pic anymore recently....
u knw wat i m so bz about??
is nt juz bout de work...
is bout in de time when i m tired 2 help myself fit in de college life...in de same time...i m tiring
2 make myself feel better...by nt touching any thgs bout my past...
my chonghwa life...
i dun wan 2 compare bout now n chghwa...
i alredi feel tired n lonely..i dun wan 2 feel sad...
tire nt 2 touch it i will feel nth....
u knw wat i hav nw??
nth...
is nt tat college life is tat tough n hard..
is tat i dun hav any my best fren wif me..
my sister MH...
they all nt wif me in this time..
de time i try 2 suit in...
tat's y i told myself many times...tat...there is no happi or nt happi...
is nth 2 do wif it..
coz it can help 2 change..
i still hav 2 face it....
is life..
this is life...
can u image hw m i nw??
everyday...face 2 de enviroment which was nt de 1 tat u stay for 5 years...
is a new 1...
everyday u hav 2 tell urself...this is it...ur school...
n u will feel like everyday u will knw somethg new bout de school or ur fren...
u knw wat??
there is no long classmates...
so ur fren u will nt always c them..
well...those r juz new bout de college...
n my problem is...i m still trying 2 fit it...
everyday i gt thgs 2 tell...
who i should go n tell ???
should i call every1 n talk 2 them about de whole story???
i m alredi verry verry tired...
is enuf 4 me...
i dun wan 2 b nt fair 2 any of my frens...
so i choose nt 2 tell any1 ...
juz my MH was in ns...
he was alone 2...
i was like his only listener....
coz same reason...
his fren hav their own life 2...
n his family...
he can use a phone three times 1 week...
so those few hours...we can chat bt cant c...
during new year...i hav him n my sister...
after tat...
i m alone again...
u cant understand hw is feel...
aspecially 4 some1 like me ....
i like 2 talk ....i like 2 tell everythg...when i m nt happi...
bt nw....i could only talk 2 my father who fetch me everyday...
bt he doesnt like 2 talk bout my little school thg....
is nt important 2 him...
so most of de time ...he juz listen...sometimes...i wondering...did he listen also....
sister....damn far...juz dun wan waste her money 4 my little thg...
MH....i cant find him....
acually...
i m kind of cant catch up wif my work...
i m weak...i m nt so good on it..
i score low marks....
i m scare...
i cant understand...bt i dun knw who i can ask 4 help...
i cant even tell my parents...
i m damn tired...
some times..
i think janice is much more luckly than me...
she gt her fren li wen same college wif her...n her brother's fren...her boy sometimes come n find her...her parents wont hav any pressure wif her...her work is good 2....
i gt nth....
tat is y i feel like i m much much more ugly nw than be4...
coz i hav nth...no frens surpport...no frens or family understand...
i score low marks...helpless...
can u image??
will u think tat is colourful...is nice...is happi ?
will u think tat ur life will harder than me nw??
well....ofcoz...is juz 4 de start...
i knw tat ...we all knw tat....
tat's y i say i need time....
i really nt tat mood 2 go out....
i m guilty....i shouldnt hav fun nw....
at least u all r still familiar wif de area...u still gt familys or frens 2 surpport or help...
bt i nv wan 2 compare anythg...u all gt ur hard part...i gt mine...
tat's y i didnt find u all...
i m sorry...
if u 2 c....tell peiyeen 2..i wasnt forgeting her...
i luv u all...i miss those everyday can c u all...can talk gossip...nv feel boring...
at least when i m down...when my work is bad i knw i can find who....
nw...i trying 2 built my own new base again...
i hope when i c u all tat time i m alredi finish built my base...
then i can still talk n hav real fun wif u all...
coz...nw...all my happi i nt sure hw many percent is true..
(coz if u wan fren u need 2 b always happi then they onli will like u....they dun knw nth about u ...they will nt understand if u giv them sad face..)
take care my fren...
i hope i can go 2 chonghwa at march de 13^^
hope tat time i will feel better alredi...
i luv u all...
~~~huihui~~~~

hey frens

look~my deardear fren..
i nv forget u all...
bt i still need time 2 gt use on wat i m nw..
bt i still love u all..
i change my msn title...
if u all didnt c..
i hope u all will c my blog..
if nt then i hope u all c my frenster or facebook..
anyway i will try my best...
tell u all this..
i miss i love every moment spenting wif u all...
bt juz nt de time yet 4 me 2 gathering...
i m nt growth enuf...
when u meet me...
i m pretty sure it will still de same me...
wif nt much change...
i hope tat time will juz make urs be more growth bt nt breaking our frenship..
hey gals~
take good care of urself ...
hope tat when next time we meet~
we can show each other wat we had learn from our different life stye...
n we can teach each other somethg new..
i always love u all^.^~
~~~~huihui~~~