is another day^.^

i dun always write blog...i juz dun hav d habit^^
bt today i blog again^^
erm...
i m always a cry baby since primary school...
cry might nt even help a little bit...
bt it always make me feel better...
bt lately
i keep losing control..
mayb inside gt somethg rosak jor~~haha
dun knw how to control~
bt d thg is...
feel "stupid"about...." how can i cry twice in college??"
shame shame ~~T___T
bt i juz cant control...
i knew..
i always knew...
every1 gt their hard time...
their problem..pressure....
i knw wat i facing is small...
^.^
bt 4 me is hard a little bit...
i knw i gt d problem think too much loong ago lo~
juz tat i cant help to think too much...
i hav try bt like i say rosak jor cant control
n doesnt knw how to ...
which part is too much??@.@
haha i dun knw too~~
how to change...
i keep tot of my lonely form2 recently...
so sad...
i dun knw y...
i wonder is becoz same bad result i nevr had??
or same dun knw to suit d new place class??
cant catch up??
cant get wat ppl r talk ing about?
feels like i m alone when i m in d class while doing project??coz ppl r talking n...no 1 take notice of me??
feels like wat ever i say is pointless??
wat is going on wif me??
wat makes me so down so sad??
haha....
this is nt maths...negative positive cant help...
is nth to do wif it..
i juz need time to gt over it..

when i was in form2...
i told myself...nver ever let myself into d same situation again...
always been left out...coz no 1 wan to b in 1 group wif me...giving a stupid excuse about wan me to b independent to find own groupmate...
i hate pretending to b sleep during free time...coz i doesnt want to look like too alone while ppl r talking..
hide at my fren's class...while break...
hate to go to school..
feel tired about knwing ppl r talking about u behind..
even gt a website talk about how terrible u r...

tat time i nver knw tat ppl hate me tat much untill i visit tat website...
ha...
haiz.

tat time was really hard 4 me...
i even gt d worst result in my whole secondary school life..
well... my result might nt good bt wasnt tat bad..
tat time...
my sister 4 d 1st time...throwing my books out d house...
becoz of too angry...
feels like i hav been betray by every1 n thgs...


is a bad bad experience..
tat time i learn...
i keep changing...
thanks 2 my best fren..
they didnt left me n still giv me advice
^^i gt frens many frens after form2...


i m sorri i m sensitive all d time...
bt at least i tot i hav a good heart^^
i learn to find out more about d person while being frens wif them..
nt juz about telling them about u^^
care n love ur fren is d key~
tats y later i gt my frens

my result is moving too~^^
mayb nt veri much bt still moving^^
improve a little by alittle^^

so sometimes...
about other ppl...
even my bf..
i m a bit tired to guess..
if they cant change..i m always ready to change...
is fair enuf^^
juz wan to make thgs easier^^
sometimes listen is good
leaving me alone is also good^^
hahahahahhaha
there's always 2 side...


jump leave....flower....tears...sunshine^^
jump^^rabbit jump hahahah

to my frens..

frens..
i m sorry tat i cant help u all...
i hav been try to think in u all d situation...
i hav try to understand...
tats y i keep say i used to feel d same thg...
bt i think u all juz think tat i m happy wif bf n still say tat i m nt happi...
bt i all i m been doing was juz try to be wif u all...
tats all i can do....
to understand... i tot d best way was to be like u all...
i m really sorry tat watever i do or say cant help u all...
bt i really care 4 u all...
i really sad 4 u all...
4 me...i always think tat u all r d best...
i m hav simple brain...
juz i like to think too much....
i love my fren n...i care...
i always hope tat u all r happi...


watever u all think ...
juz hope u all happi....
bt
sometimes i wasnt as happi as u all tot...
bf n family was d onli thg stable 4 me...
i also gt thgs to sad 4..
juz i gt no way to say it out...
In some way u all r happier than me...
in some way i dun hav thgs tat u all hav...
sometimes...
i do feel sad too...
bt
i also dun knw wat to say....
take care....
watever i say...juz dun bother..if u think is nt happi to hear ..
juz pretend u didnt hear...
sorri....



sometimes...when i hear tat u all say i always meet him...
wouldnt hav any problem...
makes me sad....
i m sorri if watever i do hurts u all' s feelings i m sorry...
bt
i do hav my sad moment n time n part too...juz tat
wasnt same wif u all...
wasnt been in d same situation cant feel...
juz....
i m sorri...
...
n when i hav my hard time...
u cant c cant feel...
juz becoz i always been like somethg wrong person...doesnt means my sadness wasnt as sad as d others....
doesnt means....i m nt as sad as urs...
this whole time i hav juz try to think in u all d situation ...
mayb is d wrong way...
if u all dun like i wouldnt say it...
all i been juz trying to do is keep u all wouldnt nt happi...
n i hav to say tat...
i really to care wat su ann say n feel...
sometimes..i dun dare to talk wif u coz i really afraid wat i say makes u more sad...
i cant stand when ppl sad next to me...
i will always try to make them feel better coz i will feel like is my fault....
bt i think i cant make u feel better so..
i always think mingming makes u feel better...
so when ming wif u i always dun wan kacau...
juz take care...
i might be juz think too much bt i do care...
i care about janice also...
mayb sometimes wat i say cant help u...
or i dun gt how isit...
bt all i hope is u will b happi n
wont gt hurt again....
i m sorri...
i hope tat times can help u feel better...
take care^.^